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What they say - what they mean

menu_book picture_as_pdf bookStephen Lake Bushcraft Australia
Issue_15_February_2016-96

It is increasingly difficult for bushwalkers and ski tourers or aspirants to understand the jargon of these recreations. Too often there is misunderstanding and confusion, with subsequent problems. As a community service to minimise these problems, a list of translations to assist the uninitiated in their first steps has been prepared. Any resemblance to reality is unintended and is sincerely regretted.

Blow hole on Tasmanian CoastOksana Perkins

What they say - what they mean

Stephen Lake

96 | BWA February 2016


Good spring skiing

Rotten by normal standards.

Fair cover

Rotten by normal standards.

Patchy cover

Rotten by normal standards.

Snow report

Work of fiction.

Some icy sections

Suicidal.

Good igloo building snow

Isn’t.

There’s the hut!

But it’s full.

Nice powder snow

Still searching for the lost parties.

Fantastic deep snow

Uphill - you go first, a slog.

Downhill - you go first so the rest of us can turn.

Steepish

Cornice.

Difficult snow

Impossible by normal standards.

Lean into the slope

Fall sideways.

Face down the slope

Fall downhill.

It’s easy

It isn’t.

Interesting turn

Telemark cartwheel.

Cold snow

Forgot the toilet paper.

The road in is okay

In your car, and do you need the muffler?

River walk

Ten swims/day.

Easy walk

Less than 20 kilometres a day.

Medium walk

More than 20 kilometres a day.

Hard walk

More than 20 kilometres a day, with cliffs, steep slopes, many climbs and descents, sword grass, killer leeches, no tracks, heavy scrub and dry camps.

Very hard walk

A hard walk with snow, rain, sleet and cold.

The first day is the hardest

Day trip.

Fine weather

Possible sunshine.

Weather could be bad

Probable snow, rain, sleet and cold, or worse.

Rained only once

From the first day to the last.

No one complained

All died.

Navigation exercise

I’m lost.

Can I borrow your map?

Left mine behind.

We camp here

Picnic shelter on wet Friday evening.

I thought you had the tent

Minor adverse event.

No wine or cheese?

Major adverse event.

Good food

Best eaten in the dark.

Food suss

Violent stomach cramps.

Interesting food

Fish, muesli and chocolate puree.

Lovely crumbed

Wombat.

Plenty of wood

Somewhere else, and you get it.

Only needed one match

Plus Saturday’s paper, firelighters and 500 mL of meths.

Bring warm clothing

Heat before packing.

Change of undies

Everyone swap, preferably with someone of the same gender.

Bathers

Skin.

Blue bathers

Cold swim.

Bit short!

Very cold swim.

Bush safety award

Stayed home.

Bush bravery award

Went on a trip.

Bush foolish award

Went to the post-trip night.

BWA February 2016 | 97